


With Murderous Regret

by stone_in_focus



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, POV Third Person, Post-Game(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 11:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stone_in_focus/pseuds/stone_in_focus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Kaidan argue over Halloween costumes. Pure fluff with a couple nods to other fandoms. :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Murderous Regret

Their first Halloween together, Shepard’s got the perfect idea. Already has the costumes planned out and everything, down to the bright pink spandex and the elcor voice modulator.

Kaidan thinks “perfect” is up for interpretation.

"You can’t be serious," he says, eyeing the large-snouted mask warily as Shepard hands it over to him. "You’re gonna have to buy me a lot of beers before I’ll even  _think_  about wearing that monstrosity in public.”

A smile creeps up on Shepard’s lips. “Maybe that’s the plan.”

"There are easier—and less painful—ways of getting me drunk."

"Yeah, but not nearly as fun." He slips on the hanar headdress, which is just as ridiculous as it sounds. "Come on, Kaidan. Blasto and Bubin?  _Classic._ ”

Kaidan doesn’t know about “classic,” but it’s terrifying, at least. Though it’s probably more terrifying that he can’t say no to a guy who looks like a giant pink condom with tentacles. “Next year, I’m picking.”

"This one doesn't understand what you’re saying."

Kaidan switches on the modulator. “With murderous regret: next year,  _I’m picking._ ”

*****

The following year, Shepard wonders if Kaidan’s being obscure on purpose. Not that he has anything against a character named after a shotgun, but he’s not so sure other people will share Kaidan’s appreciation of old Earth shows with special effects that probably outdate even the first-born Leviathans.

”Hey, you have your love of vintage espionage vids. I like something with a little more heart,” Kaidan says. “Reminds me of when I had to stay home sick from school and Mom would try to find the cheesiest sci-fi or fantasy series to cheer me up.” He does the once-over while Shepard rolls up his sleeves. “Besides, you look good in plaid.”

It’s true. Shepard can’t argue with this guy’s no-nonsense fashion sense. “And you’re supposed to be an angel of the Lord, huh? Looks a lot more like our tax accountant.” He cocks an eyebrow at the beige trench coat, complete with suit and tie. “Only, you know, sexier.”

Kaidan chuckles under his breath, fiddling with Shepard’s collar and pulling him close. “If you’re gonna ask me if it hurt when I fell from heaven, I’ll stop you right there.”

Damn. That easy to read, huh? “So what’d these guys do for fun, anyway?”

"Oh, you know. Stop the apocalypse. Save the world. Go out for bacon-and-beer happy hours."

Shepard slaps a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder. “Now that sounds like my kind of date.”

*****

"Shepard.  _John_  Shepard.”

A slight sigh floats in from the bathroom doorway, to which Shepard responds, “The wink’s too much, huh?”

"I don’t know if anyone’s gonna know who we’re supposed to be." Shepard grunts a little as Kaidan reaches over and straightens his bowtie. "What kind of name is Q, anyway?"

"Like they did last year?" Shepard says. Not that he’s going to complain. There’s something about seeing Kaidan in a trench coat. Tie sure came in handy later, too.

"You just want an excuse to have a martini in one hand all night." Kaidan raises a disapproving eyebrow, but Shepard still catches the quirk at the edge of his lips. "Just…promise me you’re not going to tell anyone the Donovan Hock story again. I know how you feel like you need to one-up Garrus when he starts talking about all his exploits."

"I don’t do that," Shepard scoffs. "Do I?"

"Two words: bottle rockets. Anyway, you behave yourself tonight," he puts his mouth up against Shepard’s ear, "and I just might have a few new things in my arsenal to show you."

As Kaidan turns to walk out, Shepard can’t help but appreciate the perfectly tailored pants the major’s picked out.

Emphasis on the double- _oh._

*****

It’s not until half past four hundred that one of them realizes Halloween’s already come around again, hairy knees knocking against each other as Kaidan slips an arm around his husband’s waist. “I think I just want to be myself this year, Shepard.”

There’s some incohererent mumbling as Shepard shifts in bed, sniffing awake. “Yeah?”

"Yeah."

Kaidan’s not sure if the soft moan into his shoulder is an agreement or an objection, but then he senses the knuckles working their way through his fingers, the kiss at his Adam’s apple. “Good. Nobody I’d rather have right now than you.”

Kaidan’s thinking exactly the same thing.


End file.
